When I felt really, truly lonely?

Posted by: Tanveer Rauf on: November 6, 2012

• In: My,myself and I
• 20 Comments

It was 29th March 1984 felt the most lonely in the world.
My husband, Major Rauf, passed away.
Four small children to be taken care of by me.
He was a major in Pakistan Army.
He had a brain injury while on duty while serving in the Army.
Years passed, and he lived with severe headaches.
The reason was not known and not diagnosed.
The CT SCAN report showed a blood clot the size of an egg on his left temple.
It was diagnosed l four days before his demise. The blood clot on his left temple grew gradually. He complained of a headache. After some time, he started getting seizures. The nature of the fits was like epilepsy. So he was treated for that. He remained ill for two years. Despite all treatment and medication, he passed away —–
When for burial, I was dumbfounded and helpless to the core of my heart. I felt like standing on water. Though the house was full of relatives, friends, and neighbors, it seemed like a haunted, empty place to me. Even the passersby felt sorry for him, as he was only 38 and I was 35.
We lived in a rented house. No money, no source of income. My brain refused to accept that he was no more.
So unable to bear the grief, I got a nervous breakdown.
It’s a long story of struggle. Now all my targets are achieved,
the mission got complete
My children grew up into beautiful human beings.
They are married now. I am a grandmother of 6 adorable grandchildren.
But, whenever I look back, I shudder with fear and amazement. It seems a dark period.
I confess that with every odd, my faith grew stronger.
It was only Allah who solved all my problems.
How I managed to raise my children and run my house
Believe me,
I don’t know———-
Now I am waiting to meet him in heaven————–

We missed you every moment
Whom you always remained close to
To them, even today, you are close to
People you loved dearly yesterday
You are still loved by them even today
You are father, brother, and son too
So are you a husband too
And pride for your motherland too

Tags: brain injury, loneliness, major, neighbors, nervous breakdown, Pakistan Army, Rauf Ahmed, Tanveer Rauf